On July 3rd of this year, I sat at the doctor's office. My heart racing and my feet tapping the cold metal table in anticipation. It had been eight weeks since my husband, Drew, and I cried tears of joy and excitement over a little plastic stick with two blue lines. I was eight weeks in to my second pregnancy and I was about to get the first glimpse of that sweet little blob of a silhouette. That day, I heard the word that will drop an expecting mother to her knees. Miscarriage.
Two days later, on July 5th, Drew and I buckled our seat belts and headed for the hospital. We didn't say much to each other that morning, but when we turned out of our neighborhood and a certain song came on the radio, we both reached immediately to turn it off. Yesterday, I was in the car on the way to a hair appointment and I listened to "Oceans" by Hillsong United for the first time since that day.
As I listened to the words, tears streamed down my face. Why couldn't we handle that song on that awful morning? When we both needed those words so badly at that point. That July morning was one of the many times in my life that I could feel my world spinning out of control. How many times have you had a feelings like this? A moment where you feel everything moving around you, but you are completely still. Unable to move...Even scared to move.
My day job is to teach 23 precious third graders. We had a discussion about gravity a few weeks ago. Try explaining that to an eight year old mind. Heck, someone please try explaining it to me. Gravity is defined as, "a natural force that tends to cause two physical things to move toward each other". Many thanks, Mr. Webster. However, for me, gravity has always been defined a little differently.
Over the past few years, there have been several times that my gravity, my Heavenly Father, is the only thing holding me in place. Grounded. Able to stand, rather than spin completely out of control. Whether it is my faith, my friends, my family, or situations that He so conveniently places me in, He has equipped me to handle it. Life is not something that was done to you, it is something that is given to you. Because of Him, throughout these hard times in life, I can feel the cement thickening under my feet. His hand is nudging me down, holding me firm in my faith.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
If you've never really listened to the words of "Oceans", I urge you to take a moment and do it. What a beautiful expression of Christ's love for us. I expect many more instances in my life when my feet may fail me, but so far, The Lord has not failed me and I know He won't start now.
Love & Blessings,